We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
