1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize