Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
