So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
