did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
