Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
