i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
