You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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