Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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