Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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