Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize