its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
