At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
