Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
