i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
