I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Randomize
