I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
