i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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