It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize