yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
