kristin has been a bad kristin
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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