check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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