I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
