She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
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it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
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The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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