I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Randomize
