if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
