the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
