Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
