Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
