playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
