"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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