my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
