Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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