so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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