she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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