O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
