i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
