Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
