Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
