let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
