I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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