i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
