So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
