There is no way he is gay with that hair.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
