i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize