he thought i was a dude.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
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