Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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