i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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