i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
