i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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