batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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