i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
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I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
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I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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