I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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