Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i need an iv and a liver transplant
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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