Dual....:-)
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
