Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
whose parrot is this?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
