Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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