p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
