no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
