the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
