Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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