Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
