I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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