Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
She just used a chaser for red wine.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
