I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
