I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
