toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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